Thursday, December 29, 2005


Dear Diary.
Something has been lifted off my shoulders... I likey, I likey a lot!
Whatever I might go through in life, I need support. Hell yeah I'm egotistical, narcissistic, the whole sha-bang, but I need support. And I need people who listen to me. They don't have to understand me, each to their own, everybody's different. But my family never ever listens to me, never ever takes me seriously, so the friends I have need to do that for me. And I need my friends to tell me things they need to tell, to actually take my advice seriously. When I'm cut out from the information chain, something is up. I should've realized this long ago, but I was waiting for my friend to make a choice. She sure did, but failed to inform me. Now that I've figured out her selection, I had to make the choice myself. And I've made it. I don't feel good, I don't feel bad, at the moment I kinda just feel, maybe with a hint of relief. In this situation, I have never felt relief before, but it is a good sensation. I must stop babbling, seriously. Could God please put a label on people? "Fake friend", "true friend", "unsure friend", "enemy friend"... cuz I sure go through hell to find out.
One more thing... Don't you hate it when everybody knows somethings wrong, but nobody does anything about it? I always try to lift things up and out to the surface, but nobody likes that, right? Let's just keep the facade... story of my life!!! Am I the true outcast? Of course I am, I always will be, no matter how normal I look.

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