Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Gosh my life sucks atm.

Dear Diary.
You prolly dont know the feeling, but sometimes you get just that feeling. The feeling that youd be better off without a family. Sure, your life depends on your fam, but your mental health will be destroyed by that very same thing. Sounds crazy, huh? Well, thats how it feels for me. Im going through some tough times. Working is hard; the aircondition isnt working and people keep expecting you to speak their language. Well, I do most often speak the language, but do they smile at ya? No, they look at you with their sour-puss faces to cheer nothing. Quarreling in the "family estate". Im so glad Im leaving this house again soon, but yet I am scared cuz I am playing the role of the glue. I always have been the glue of my family, yet I have always felt no need for this family. Contradictory, I love my family, but I need distance. They need to mend their own tapestries. Gosh, cheesy lines today... I hope this summer brings me salvation in one form or another, so that I can truly start over. Maybe I should move abroad (to my own motherland... haha), change my name and cut my bonds. At times, looking at how I live now, it is tempting. Well, off to bed.

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